trum promises north dakota farmers

Even though he steadfastly maintains that climate change isn’t real, President Trump is now promising that he can take care of a major side-effect of global warming.

During an appearance in North Dakota on Wednesday, which was supposed to serve as a showcase for the administration’s tax cut plan, Trump said that while the state may be suffering from droughts, they’re better off than the people in Texas who are having to endure the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey:

“I know you have a little bit of a drought. They had the opposite, believe me. You’re better off (than Texas). You are better off, they had the absolute opposite.”

Next, Trump proved what a complete idiot he is by remarking:

“We’re doing everything we can but you have a very serious drought. I just said to the governor, I didn’t know you had droughts this far north. Guess what: you have them.”

Good thing he told them they have droughts, huh? Otherwise they might not have known.

But it was what Trump then told the audience that will leave you scratching your head:

“We’re working hard on it, and it will disappear, it will all go away.”

Is he planning to sign a proclamation that declares drought must depart or he’ll deport it? Or does this illegitimate head of state have some magical power he hasn’t told us about until now?

Not wanting to miss a chance to kiss up to the farmers and ranchers who were there to see the pretend POTUS make a fool of himself, Trump added:

“We will always stand strong with our farmers and our ranchers, the backbone of America, that I can tell you 100 percent.”

No need to worry North Dakota, Donnie’s gonna take care of everything. And if that doesn’t work, he’ll just send Ivanka to bestow some of her sweatshop-made clothes on all of you and make you forget there’s not enough rain.

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