satan endorses american president

Satan endorses American President – Satan in human form held a meeting today to announce an endorsement for the president of the United States of America.

“After much deliberation, I have decided who I want to be president,” Satan said. “This decision was not made easily. After all, they’re both so intrinsically evil, I could easily have gone either way. But after much deliberation, I, The Prince of Darkness, have decided to officially endorse Donald J. Trump for President.”

Why Trump? Satan claims 45’s desire for nuclear weapons pushed him to the top of the hierarchy.

“Listen, I appreciate Hillary’s brand of blatant lying, rampant greed and in-your-face corruption. However, I simply cannot pass up this chance for global thermonuclear Armageddon.”

Satan went further, promising to join Trump on his campaign trail.

“I look forward to joining Donald on the campaign trail and further assuring the utter triumph of evil on planet Earth. Maybe someday, after he has served for 24 years, he can replace me as Satan. Donald Trump would make a great Satan.”

Info from various ministries proves that God has not endorsed either of the two candidates, although that might change in the near future.

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